Two No More

Everything's come to a head. After asking for a path through this dark wood I've been placed on a path by which I am to endure some of the hardest trials yet. The One of Two is no longer so, but instead The One Learned From. Time has seem to it that I no longer wear the veil of wishful thinking before my eyes. No. I see now who walks in his stead, as well as who follows him. For even if a king is imprisoned, he is still insulated from the world around him. But now that sort of action, or lack thereof, has ended and he must endure the trials before him. I must endure these trials.

The One Learned From delivered an ultimatum, of which I saw coming. His followers and supporters delivered their own message with much scorn and vitriol, something I was not prepared for. Thus is the reason that I must speak my piece and have peace of mind. Their minds are set in old ways so I do not hope to sway them, that is only wishful thinking, something I am done with. I need to know that I've done all I can by communicating as best I can to those that turn a blind eye for the sake of feeling comfortable. Hmm...the mere thought of what they do begins to agitate.  It is at this point that we near climax and wait with baited breath for the smallest movement to topple us in any direction. The Tall One advises against speaking my piece, or his own at the very least, in that no good would come of it. I am of the mind that there is little to no good to be had at this point, as we look about at our dangerous position.

I ask God for guidance, the strength, wisdom, and courage to face these tribulations from my own family. I am but a man and have only so much to give. I will give it my all but I know that it will not be enough. I pray that the hearts of the supporters will be changed and open to what I have to say. Doing what needs to be done comes first, even if at great cost. But what is the cost when it is something that's become sick and blind? One would say all the more reason to keep trying.

...............I give you all the evidence to make of it what you will.

Forced to Move On

So much has happened within the realm of knowledge. Even in the workshop, everyday toils were made enjoyable by those surrounding myself. It was a last bastion of familiarity before it finally came to an end. I've grown to know this place, enjoy this place, even when I hated it. It was familiar. The faces were comforting. And now they are slowly sealed away in their compartment that was that life. Not completely locked away but forever removed and no longer belonging to it. Much like a photograph cannot be relived.

How much I took for granted. How oblivious I was to how much I truly valued my position. Much like being forced to find a new dwelling on my own without the aid and companionship of The Bearded one. Known for all those years and then placed elsewhere in life. I don't fault him for it; his life is his own. It's the pain of the creeping attachment being pulled away much like vine from an old stone wall. Tis my nature that is my undoing and cause of this pain. A pain that will pass but yet is a force pressed within my chest until it passes.

.................how I pray for a place to lay down my own roots.

Suffering Silence

Two kingdoms at war through sheer existance, both bristling when in the pressence of another. Foreign powers know not of the stifling dark held over the other. It remains where is should be, in the past. A past in much need of burning.

I know my limits. After a year they had been reached and then some. To live with the hostility and smothering odor of disregard to one is more than I could bear. Yet I bore it. No place I could call my own without the burn of something detested. There was no home, only pits of habitation. That was then and will forever be then. Nevermore will it ever be 'now'. Leave it to die its much deserved death without the perversion of what now stands.

...................here it lies and here it shall remain.

Amnesia

They came flooding back, like bats before a breaking dawn. Past actions, fleeting moments, and bliss hung together only to be burned by the morning light. What had once been a place of joy had turned back in on itself, into that of apathy.

These memories, not often thought about, still evoke more attachment than what is comfortable. They were good once. Now they are simply regret.

..........................burn the past.

No Rest for the Guilty

The Fool prances and shakes, wallowing in his brief moment of triumph. Oh how the tables have turned and this one knows it. Idle fortress of cold solitude shudders again as its foundations are tested with the king's latest act of shame. Bound in chains he lies trapped, bearing his punishment for so foolishly dropping his guard and indulging in such fruitless activities. Now only the shame and guilt of inflicted pain adorn his head, his new crown. Just penance is due for this crime.

Be you reminded of this feeling should you ever be tempted again. The lashes of a weeping and broken heart are not felt by you this time around but by one you felt compelled to string along. Oh but 'twas not to string along! Simply was it to proceed blindly, unaware as to where such a place would end up. And lo, the destination is one of disgust and a sad state of affairs. The feeling of betrayal is ripe in one's chest...but not yours. Remember this well.

.................a simple lapse in judgment.

Sometimes...

...I just don't know.

Slammed Shut

Shadow collides with stone, the unmoving versus the unknown, a battle lost. Failure to move from shifting ground come so sudden left nothing but chasm beneath the foundation that was the isolated fortress. A gaping abscess with nothing to fill it. The Romantic is locked away for the rest of his life, denied any chance of reprieve, solace. The One From the Past has once again returned to memories where they will remain, not to return. All is grey, washed out, dim gloom gripping without remorse. A cause not sufficient for the consequence, this fortress falls once more to shambles of broken, fragile rock, a ghost of the lost.




.............I don't deserve this.