Where Have You Gone?

You were there, unmoving, solid state, guiding everything that went on under this roof. You had a plan for nearly everything and even in those instances where you didn't you turned the situation to your favor. Short tempered you charged through issues wrestling them into submission with your quick whit and rationale, you were formidable. Looking up to you there would always be a piece of advice you could share with me to help me, be it straight forward or between the lines. But most importantly I could confide in you. Where some, if not all, of my friends failed you were there to listen and calm the fears, anger, terrors, that welled up inside me.

Now I sit here wondering just where you went. You left that day, never to return. In your stead was a completely different person who I had to get used to all over again. No longer was there this high strung, short tempered, fastidious, domineering man, but instead...something that I could no longer place unshakable confidence in. I value that you are still with me, life would have been only more tumultuous without you. However losing that powerhouse of a person that I looked up to, modeled myself after left a shadow on the memories that had been made.

Since that day I had lived with your shadow as my guide, hoping to hold onto a fading perception for as long as possible before crashing back to life. I knew you were different. I didn't deny that. Where my friends now fail I no longer have that solid figure I looked up to. There is a hole, pit, that grows larger with the realization tonight that who I once confided in no longer exists.

Dad.......where have you gone?