Shattered Fortress

Finally after waiting through the years, watching others dabble, seeing the smiles, the heartbreak, the depth, the shallowness, you were handed the key to the fortress. You welcomed it as I welcomed you but we both knew about the shadow you brought with you. The sheets of ice you managed to clear away in one night that had taken years to construct. It amazed me to feel what I had so longed for. The One That Got Away was finally home. But it was not to last. Soon the shadow that I feared grew to engulf the fortress and bring it crashing down around me...around us. Once a beautiful place of safety, comfort, and pride now a smoldering wreckage of what had been.

All was not lost. For you helped me to pick up the pieces...not entirely but enough to keep the fires of what we had had alive. You left, pulled back into the world by the shadow. I don't blame you, I never could or will. We knew the risks, the price, and we continued forward. For the time that this place was finally warm and full it was so very worth it. We still have the foundation to build from but that will take time, something it seems you never have enough of but I have in abundance. I will rebuild for there is a kingdom left to rule that must continue on. Know that I will be here, within this fortress of ice, waiting for it to be melted again for the final time.

For The Sake of Memory

This time needs to remembered so I never forget it. I highly doubt that will happen as it has added another scar to this already calloused heart. After waiting through 7 years, closer to 8, I finally entered into a relationship deemed worthy of lasting but as things turned out that didn't happen. It wasn't a lack of feeling on her end or anything but a concern that she wouldn't be able to keep up her end of things. Much like I viewed relationships during my HS years she sees them as something that can wait so that she can make sure her life is in proper order. A respectable and understandable way of thinking. We couldn't see the future but we both knew things had the potential to end up bad, which they did.

She meant everything to me. She still does. Which is why I'm grateful that instead of completely cutting things off and never having a chance ever again we remain friends. Yes it would seem like a fool's game to play, an extremely one sided gamble, but in this case I know that it is not. It is for this reason that I will enter the waiting game once again. However I will not wait exclusively for that would waste a life left to live. She will always be on my mind and in my heart but in that reserved spot that says, "I will do anything and everything for you until you're ready. I will be here when you need me to be." Speaking to myself for a moment...You will move on, not forgetting but not remaining stuck, and you will work to the end that you know you can achieve. It's real. It's there. All you need to do is make sure there is a future there for it to take hold and grow into what you know it can be. THAT is what you must do now. Grab the ice, put it on thick, and work through the storm.

"...I'll stand by your side, close my eyes hope will never die."