Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Lack of Escape

It seems like it's been a while since I last opened the valve of waking mind but only a short month has gone by. What's better is that there has been no cause or need to spill this mind upon the virtual page until tonight.

 The oddest thing set me off...a fan-fiction. Rarely do I pay any attention to such things but for some reason I stopped to read this one tonight and ended up down this dark road of memories again. Sitting here picking at my scars once again, for that's what they have finally become, the dull ache returns and I am transported back to it all. Being together, having that wholeness, finally finding that thing that would take up my wandering mind...all back again. There but stands one glaring memory separated from the rest spurred by this fan-fic, that of a single kiss. It was the first kiss I received from her, caught unawares I stood dumbstruck then smiled a big stupid smile as I held her. To have that again...

 Alas I cannot wear out the memory. These fade over time should they be dredged up from the lockbox and I would not have that happen. For the most part I have healed but a memory such as this needs to be kept as warm as the day it was created. There are no more words for this page. I only hope to find solace in slumber, hoping memories do not give way to nightmares. To fall fast asleep in no time at all would be a mercy most pleasant.


......"I will always be here for the rest of my life."