Why do I get myself into these situations? How do I? There must be something in me compelling me to go out and set myself up for failure/disappointment. Twice now I've chosen to go out on a limb only to be smacked around by the likes of time and all its frustrating annoyances.
Talking with the One from the Past we've both told one another that we have a mutual interest, one that we would very much like to see grow and develop. There exists but one problem and that lies smack dab between us, all 3,000+ of it. And once again time becomes both my enemy and ally. Time keeps the future at bay while also spurring it to hurry towards me at a blinding pace. I know no one said this would be easy but this...2 failures in success is not what I was expecting. My life's existence of being a contradiction seems to be remaining constant.
Once gain the toils of those wrapped around Time's finger go unnoticed; crying out like the grains of sand that they are.
.................he bends and he breaks.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Pause for a Moment to Reflect
A new character has entered into the scene and they go by The One from the Past. An unlikely reappearance but a welcome one nonetheless. However she caught me off guard and things seemed to be heading in a desirable direction but I have not yet evaluated the motives behind my desire to see things move forward. I need more time to be around and interact with her to fully form a mental image.
After 2 encounters and various online interactions an interesting night occurred. A mutually enjoyable situation arose for the both of us that seemed to foreshadow a potential future but she had to return to her place of work some distance away. It is only after she departed that I feel an ache. Even typing this now I feel wretched. I don't put myself into these situations because I know there can be very volatile outcomes if things haven't been evaluated properly and they hadn't been. These kinds of things should happen after a proper evaluation has been made so that it does not skew the result.
Now what I've done is put myself on the receiving end of the situation I had earlier this year. As amusing as it is the fact that things must now be sifted and examined even more closely both annoys me and concerns me. I've made more work for myself simply by not adhering to the same structure I've used to guide myself thus far. My main concern is that I may be leading under false pretenses, the worst outcome and last thing I would wish to have happen.
Perhaps this is the time to evaluate the situation properly. With her gone there is plenty to examine and more than enough time to make a call. The current situation needs to be taken into proper account as well as what the future may hold. Unfortunately the future is unknown right now, she may even end up staying on the far end of things. What you are doing is putting too much stock into a single moment that, while it means a good deal to you, it doesn't hold nearly as much weight in the grand scheme of things. Who knows, things could continue down this road as is. The point is, stop, take a breath, and calmly look at things objectively just like you've always done. You will find your answer. Also don't forget to ask the Man Upstairs for a little help. We both know you could use it.
............committed in the heat of passion.
After 2 encounters and various online interactions an interesting night occurred. A mutually enjoyable situation arose for the both of us that seemed to foreshadow a potential future but she had to return to her place of work some distance away. It is only after she departed that I feel an ache. Even typing this now I feel wretched. I don't put myself into these situations because I know there can be very volatile outcomes if things haven't been evaluated properly and they hadn't been. These kinds of things should happen after a proper evaluation has been made so that it does not skew the result.
Now what I've done is put myself on the receiving end of the situation I had earlier this year. As amusing as it is the fact that things must now be sifted and examined even more closely both annoys me and concerns me. I've made more work for myself simply by not adhering to the same structure I've used to guide myself thus far. My main concern is that I may be leading under false pretenses, the worst outcome and last thing I would wish to have happen.
Perhaps this is the time to evaluate the situation properly. With her gone there is plenty to examine and more than enough time to make a call. The current situation needs to be taken into proper account as well as what the future may hold. Unfortunately the future is unknown right now, she may even end up staying on the far end of things. What you are doing is putting too much stock into a single moment that, while it means a good deal to you, it doesn't hold nearly as much weight in the grand scheme of things. Who knows, things could continue down this road as is. The point is, stop, take a breath, and calmly look at things objectively just like you've always done. You will find your answer. Also don't forget to ask the Man Upstairs for a little help. We both know you could use it.
............committed in the heat of passion.
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